Thursday, 18 September 2014

Tell me more about the toilet situation

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Insight: Fat Fighters

Jesus christ, that 2nd fattie goes on about how people 'think' fat is linked to health issues, but she can't breathe properly

Sunday, 14 September 2014

They updated the American obesity statistics. 34.9% of Americans are now obese. Obese, not just overweight.

34.9% of Americans are now obese

"We have to change as a society. I am one of those people. I'm not huge fat, but I am fat. It's the ability to go down the street and buy delicious food for cheap. Some stuff comes close to killing us over here. The Dunkin Donuts $1 large ice coffee is straight diabetes. We are all poor as shit too. So we tend to buy stuff that we can afford. But it's hard to force ourselves to eat oats every morning when we could just eat something delicious for a few extra bucks. End result being 1200 cals substituted for a 400 cal oats meal. Replace that with other daily meals, my bro was eating 4000cal a day not realizing it. My entire family is on the obese side. I'm the only one who isn't a complete whale. But I still look pretty miserable. 

That means every day of his existence he was consuming about 1500 cals more than he needed. That's 3 pounds of excess calories a week. That shit will catch up with you quick. Once you realize you are really fat and need to stop, you have to fight against this on a meal by meal basis. Shit just isn't mean't to work out. Really fat people feel stuck in their bodies man. We don't want to be this fat. It's like a cig smoker saying he doesn't want to smoke. 

I mean fuck, I'm going to go out tonight and get a 2000cal meal for like $7. Really good shit at that. and ate a 1500 cal lunch. It's my off day, so my total intake is about 1000 cal over what I need. But I'm sitting here hungry as fuck"

Friday, 12 September 2014

I'll admit I felt a little bad because I didn't get up to much today, what with Lyman grounded and alienating the rest of her pod.

>Lyman grounded, begs me to visit her
>Go over to hers and we watch some chickflicks while eating mayo out of jars
>I'm not even eating mayo, having my greek yogurt in a mayo jar kek
>"This tastes disgusting." Lyman smacks her lips, has another heaped spoonful.
>"Well, we could chop some carrots and celery in there."
>"You mean like a salad? ew no way."
>"What about some lays and salsa?"
>Lyman and I go downstairs and add some salsa and crushed lays to our jars of mayo
>Except I got the salsa and she fucking poured nacho cheese in there
>"Teehee this is why I love you anon"

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Not Safe For Work

"Stunning Nude Photo Series Will Make You Think Twice About The 'Ideal Body' (NSFW)"

...and after thinking twice you'll realise that you were right all along and that fat bodies are pretty disgusting.

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

This is what Chinooks were designed for

>working at a roller skating rink
>tons of stupid little kids, but thats ok cause they're kids
>stupid adults are a lot harder to deal with
>lady walks in easily weighing over 350lbs
>I can clearly see her specially made shoes
>she comes up and asks for a size 6 (about average shoe size for women)
>I know this isn't going to work, but I can't just say "ma'am you're too fat for this"
>fast forward through her sitting down and trying on every sequential size of skate we have until we get to size 13
>size 13 doesn't fit
>its clearly not the length, but the width of the foot that's the issue
>Finally find that she can squeeze into a 15
>all of her weight is centered between the wheels
>goes out onto the skate floor after an hour of trying on shoes
>about 3 minutes in, I hear her scream
>she's fallen, tango down!
>walk out to the floor to see if she needs assistance defeating gravity
>she's broken one of the steel plates the skates use for support
>skate busted, so I have to tell manager
>manager tells her she'll have to pay for the skate (around $100)
>she flips out, saying this is prejudiced
>I tell her this is a special situation, we've never had someone weigh too much for skates
>the look of extreme discomfort comes on her face
>she starts crying amid the hundred or so kids also skating that day
>feel bad for a moment, then her crying becomes screaming
>she's flailing her arms around like an infant
>head arched back, screaming to the roof, and squriming every moveable body part in protest
>me and the manager back away
>every kid in the place looking on
>she goes at it for about five minutes before suddenly stopping, getting up, and walking out as if nothing happened
>she leaves her shoes with us

Monday, 1 September 2014

Sweet smell of summer

> Be 19 and working on check out window at Mcdonalds, first week of summer and it's afternoon so busy as fuck
> Next guy gives me his order on my headset, dude has a British accent and sounds familiar for some odd reason
> Dude rolls up to my window, it's David Beckham, his kids and some dude in the passenger seat
> Ohshit.jpg and hand him his food
> Don't know if word got out that he was around here or whatever but all of the sudden like 7 cars rush in and 4-5 people come out of the building
> Two landwale teenagers come out, one is making a B-line literately running full speed to his car with a face like an emo teenage girl about to meet Robert Patterson cutting though the parking lot and shit
> Becks looks and goes "Lets get back to the hotel before thunder thighs gets any ideas here" to his friend in the passenger seat
> We both chuckle as I hand him his food and he speeds off
> Landwale teenage girl goes back inside with her friend and orders a 50 piece nugget while talking about how she got a glimpse of him and and she swears that he look back at her in a "romantic" way
> Can't stop laughing for the rest of the afternoon