Thursday, 23 October 2014

I actually eat very healthy


Monday, 20 October 2014

Call the fire department for that burn


Friday, 10 October 2014

It's true

>be at the gym one night
>there’s a new guy sitting at the bench press
>chris, the attendant, says he’s the new janitor
>but he does a lot more than mop floors
>this fat, short, smelly guy goes table to table, making sure everyone is talking about just fitness
>kinda sucks the fun out of the whole place but we try to ignore him
>lift some weights, make gains
>rep is over, talk about our favorite workouts
>eventually the conversation drifts more towards general shit like life
>the janitor comes waddling over, hot pocket in his hand
>what do you think you’re doing?
>uhh, just talking about shit, I don’t believe this is any of your-
>ARE YOU AWARE THAT THIS IS A GYM MEANT FOR FITNESS AND GYM DISCUSSION ONLY
>dude my set is over, I don’t think it’s that bad if we talk-
>NO, he says, lips smacking, THIS IS A GYM AND YOU WILL DISCUSS ONLY GYM SHIT HERE
>dude, you’re spraying hot pockets in my face, please move-
>YOU CANNOT BAD MOUTH A MEMBER OF THE STAFF LIKE THAT
>the only one with a bad mouth here is you
>I WILL HAVE YOU REMOVED
>fuck off, you can’t make is do shit
>this guy starts fuming because we’re right. He doesn’t even have any real power
>he has to call the fitness trainer to remove us
>see him stuffing down another hot pocket as we leave
>the fitness trainer tells us we’ve been banned from the free weights area for 72 hours
>demand to see the owner
>he says we can’t because we’ve been banned for 72 hours or less
>what kind of fucking bullshit is that
>ask them how much they pay that bozo janitor
>nothing, he does it for free

Thursday, 9 October 2014

Secret Agent Fatty

>tfw brother is marrying a big fat chick
>tfw brother is getting way fat since he met big fat chick
>tfw they're probably going to have kids
>tfw kids are probably going to be big fat kids
>tfw i'm going to have to pretend to accept their big fat kids
>fpfw another healthy family infiltrated by fatness and destroyed from within